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My Roaring 20's

by November Is For Friends

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1.
All these stories in my head and every single word you said are ringing back like the echo of a bell running down the hall in a "[high school] never ended for you." I'm sorry you could never let it go. Some things in life are sure-things, others you never know. Sorry, but everybody moves on. And I won't be the one who's left behind. Three days and four hours since I last I felt okay. I'm sorry to break it to you but there's nothing you can do to make me stay. I'm moving on and moving out. Let's bury this hatchet in the ground. The only goodbye I can stand to make is, "Hey, man, I'll see you around." You'll be sorry. All these stories... You'll be sorry. "It's okay." Remind me of just how we used to be; tell me another story. No complaints, I'm okay. 9-5 Mon-Fri. Back at home, and I feel a chill looking out over Hunters Hill. Autumn hit me like a ton of bricks. This old jacket is full of rips. The smell of cologne and your cigarettes reminds me of you and I feel regret. Sorry, but everybody moves on. And I won't be the one who's left behind. I don't even know myself anymore. It's like staying awake is a chore. Ever since I went away it's like waiting for night to become day. I'm moving on and moving out. Let's bury this hatchet in the ground. The only goodbye I can stand to make is, "Hey, man, I'll see you around." You'll be sorry. All these stories... You'll be sorry. "It's okay." Remind me of just how we used to be; tell me another story.
2.
I am struggling to find the silver lining in these past couple of nights. I'd pick myself up and nurse these wounds, but I don't think I have the fight left in me. Who knows when I ever did... Fuck you and your preconceived notions of me just being some fucked up kid. There's been a lot of sleepless nights; a lot of days I slept away; a lot of times I needed to hear someone say "You're okay." I wish I could stand up on my own and pump some life back in these bones. There's only so much that I can do. I'm not the same person I thought I knew. So fuck this emotional bullshit. I'm still awake at 3:36 in the morning on a Sunday; I should be asleep. But I can't stop my mind from wondering. Where's my silver lining? Jake says I measure my life by the I haven't done. I'm looking for something to write home about but what's the point of writing when I'm not writing to anyone? If my life's a book all the pages are empty. I thought I'd have more to write about at the age of 20. I wish I could stand up on my own and pump some life back in these bones. There's only so much that I can do. I'm not the same person I thought I knew. So fuck this emotional bullshit. I'm still awake at 3:36 in the morning on a Sunday; I should be asleep. But I can't stop my mind from wondering. Where's my silver lining? But I can't stop my mind from wondering. I should be asleep. But I can't stop my mind from wondering. Where's my silver lining?
3.
We go home and straight to sleep to avoid conversations we can't keep [up] in arms is not the way to face these problems at hand. I can't stand when you tell me that everything's okay. I know it's not. And there's a growing list of things I need to say. I can't bring myself to say a single word. I touched up and I brushed up, but I can't remember a single thing I learned. I can't bring myself to say a single word. I'm roughed up, and I'm fucked up, and I didn't move a single inch toward where I need to be. I know I'm in no state to pass on judgement. So there's no reason to shy away. What's the point of hiding scars when the wreckage still floats to the surface? I'm tired of always being nervous. Mitch says he's bored of always being mad. I want to help him but I'm just a bad friend. I can't even keep it together half the time. It makes no sense when the blonde lead the blind.

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released September 10, 2014

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November Is For Friends Allentown, Pennsylvania

Three dudes, sometimes. We like it when it's cold outside.

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